Blueberry, Hemp, and Regret

Sep 5

Okay, Navitas Organics Blueberry Hemp Power Snacks. Let's talk about them. Or as I like to call them: "Little Mystery Balls of Health Hype."

First off, the branding is on point. USDA Organic. Non-GMO. Gluten-free. Vegan. Kosher. No dairy, no BPA, no artificial anything. Just a whole bunch of goodness packed into a little bite-sized nugget of… well, let's say "nature."

Each 8-oz. pouch contains approximately 22 pieces, which initially feels generous until you realize the serving size is just two bites. Two. At 80 calories per serving, you might think that's a great little snack—if you have the appetite of a hummingbird.

The price? Whew. I paid $9.09 on sale (bless you, Amazon), but the regular Thrive Market price is $10.69.

For 22 tiny bites. Which makes each bite roughly 41 cents. That's nearly half a dollar per clump of chewy seeds. I don't know who needs to hear this, but for ten dollars, I could get a whole pizza. With toppings. And maybe a drink if I dig through the couch cushions.

Now, the taste. Imagine this: a date walks into a blueberry patch, stumbles onto a pile of seeds, and they all get squished together in a bite-sized lump.

That's about the flavor profile. It starts off blueberry-ish, but then—surprise!—you're hit with a mouthful of pumpkin seeds. And not in a fun, trail-mix kind of way. In a "did I just chew on bird feed?" kind of way.

The texture? It's soft, but not smooth. You know what I mean? It's like it wants to be chewy, but then you bite in and it's got a grainy resistance to it.

You can see the ingredients in there, which is cool if you like your food to resemble something from a health-conscious squirrel's snack stash.

The ingredient list reads like a wellness influencer's dream journal: date paste, sorghum, chia, hemp, blueberry, goji, maca, lucuma, acerola… honestly, I had to Google half of those to make sure they weren't Harry Potter spells. ("Accio, flavor!")

Their company mission is great—organic farming, sustainability, social justice, yadda yadda.

Love that. But let's not pretend a noble mission makes this bite taste better or my wallet feel less betrayed.

Final thoughts? These bites are delicate if you love superfoods, have the means to indulge, and enjoy chewing your vitamins.

But if you're just a tired mom looking for a snack that tastes good and keeps you going through a Target run with two kids fighting over who gets the last fruit snack… this ain't it.